Just like a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly,

searching for nectar from the flowers,

and fly in the garden filled with tranquility.

I'm back and this time hopefully I'll be much more faithful. First of all, Salam Ramadhan to all Muslims. It's still not to late to wish right? Life for me has been a bit complex. I've been simply dragging my time off each day. At the same time, I did a lot of self-search and corrections to my life. I realised that one of my main weakness that might have caused me to lag behind is the disability to hang on to the strong-will and determination for long. In Malay, it is like "Hangat-hangat taik ayam". Yes, like that aahhh.

Dare to dream, dare to plan, dare to look forward. Yes to all of the above. Sound very motivating and convincing but yet when it come to carrying out the action plan, another weakness came in. The weakness of scared/nervous/tense whatever vocab that asssociates with it. "Orang banyak kuat, tapi hati banyak kecikk". Tskkk! So you know when you tend to be scared, you tend to give a pause to whatever you want to do. You thought you can give yourself some time. But eventually this pause will then prolonged to become a stop one day.

The only one to be blamed for all these to happen is no one but youself - yes, myself. I have to persistently believe in myself in whatever I do in order for me to move on. Alhamdulillah, god have gave me the strength to do so and small changes can be seen for now. Hopefully, these small changes will slowly developed to much bigger ones. Insyaállah. And with that also, hopefully it will help to strengthen the ties in my family.

I shall blog more in another day. For now, I am going to start baking the first cookie for Hari Raya. I just love doing this. Hopefully, I can do it fast and then I can turn into bed early because tomorrow will be my first day of work - morning shift. Hopefully people there will treat me niceeee.

LOVES.

I'm leaving next week..

Searching for a peace of mind, soul, life.

LOVES.

Monday Blues.

It's just fate that we kept bumping into each other in a day huhh.
That shows how much apologetic and guilty u need to be because there should be a reason behind the frequent bumps we get within a day!
It's sad to see you're a Malay Muslim with headscarf on with a sweet smile yet don't even have basic courtesy or manners for yourself.
Awwwwhhhh..pitypity you bitch.

Opsss. Sorry but the word just got off my mouth naturally.
You're such a shame.
And please stop giving the stares when you bump into me again.
It definitely won't work on me.

And ohh well, I'm bored that's why.
Stucked in school just to wait for the next 6pm lecture.
In library now - retrieve lecture notes.
For all I know, I'm getting a lil bit irritated with the guy next to me.
Because he's talking to himself.
Worst, in a cartoon voice. -.-

Tests are all around the corners of my schedule.
Projects too.
Assignments too.
Wish me best of lucks ehhh. Thanks(:



LOVES.

Running away from reality..

Accepts reality.

Run.

Accepts.

.........................you all suck.

Gerhana Ska Cinta: Why, Why, Why.

Ever heard of Gerhana Ska Cinta song that goes..tell me why, why, why?

Yeahh that's exactly the question that has been running through my mind. LOL. Can I get to the top of a hill and scream my lungs out?? Errr. Like seriously. Haha.

You must be wondering why, why, why what right? I also don't know. My head pain I guess..that has been killing me. Haha. I'm wondering if it's the heat of the weather or there's something wrong with me. How much I hate to eat panadol because I hate depending on it, I have to consumed it still as I can't bear the pain.

Ohh Mr Sun, Sun..Mr Golden Sun, Please don't shine on me! (:

LOVESyou.
Dear Allah, only from you I ask for guidance.
Please guide me to the right path.
Don't make me lose my way.
And ease my mind, provide me with an answer.
Anytime, anywhere. Amin.

Recollection of Events Part II.

Let's start with the current situation again. I'm bored right now and I just finished filing my notes for SSM and all my notebooks, pens, timetable are all ready! Am I like excited for school or what? Hehs, partly. But I am nervous at the same time because it's a new class and unfortunately, I think no one ended up in the same class as me now. Looking at the positive side, I am going to make new friends (:

Bowling & dinner together with Linds, Ameer, Aizat, Is, Hafiz, Haikel, Effy, Anis & Fizah was AWESOME! Just a nice gathering before my hectic school schedule begins again. And owh, I think I'm getting old or something? Because my bones are cracking & of course, in pain. Bleargh. My calcium milk intake is so high yet my bones are aching away..tskktskk.

Now let's take a look at the next event that took placed few weeks ago..

It's RetroPop: Senior Farewell Party.

Rehearsal Day: I'm like busy searching for "old school" songs & I was chatting at MSN at the same time. Heheheh. "Killing two birds with one stone."

Rehearsal Day: Busy listening to them on how to play the character "budak-budak". I'm like so keen listening to them because I'm serious about my work. *coughs*

Rehearsal Day: Whooo! I'm like jogging on-the-spot to warm up for the character as a 4 year old kid who loves to disturb her younger sister who is 1 yr younger than her and at the same time will irritate her eldest sister who is busy doing housework (:

RetroPop Day: Everyone was busy mass-dancing on the dance floor to the song "Espressi". I'm like busy taking photos & video-ing them dancing.lol.

This cute boy is of course, my 2nd cousin: Hydil. So the very "old school"!

Owhh it's Mr Haiqel with two gorgeous lady: Ms Heisha Daniels & Ms Fifie. *coughs*

The winner of Best Dressed Award (based on theme) goes to: Hydil Jamil. And he won a brick game console! Very classic game..i loikkee (:

Group Photo with Seniors before Melly left.

Another RetroPop photo with Abang Anuar (opsss!) inside the pic. Hehe.

So by the end of the day, the gorgeous, hot fever retro party was a success! *Thumbs Up!
Titisan temasek, rock on (:

With LOVES.

Recollection of Events Part I.

Let's start with the current one right now. I just reached home afew minutes ago from Titisan training and before that I was from work. So can you imagine the how tired I am right at this point of time. My feet hurts!

And right now, I am enjoying my all-time favourite Meiji Milk while blogging and surfing the net. But just before I want to enjoy my milk, I had to clean a HUGE mess. This was what happened. I open the refrigerator to get my milk, and suddenly ke-te-pak-ke-te-puk! All I knew I was trying to save as many things from falling to the ground. Unfortunately a container filled with with my mum's blended dried chillies fell to the ground and the container broke AND the blended chilli paste flew all over the floor, even to my cat's cage! Urghhh. Of all time, this have to take place at the time when I am feeling very tired and all I wanted was REST. Sighhs.

Blahhh. Let's move on..

Last few weeks was kick-ass! Finally I managed to take time-off to enjoy besides working and working. I went to Minds Cafe at SAFRA with some of Titisan girls & Ain. We played & had lots of fun.

The Shrek Monopoly Players.

See this cute character on the monopoly board? It's Puss In Boots and I'm the one with it. Hehs.

Then we moved on to Taboo.

It was definitely a good game, just look at how hard, flushed & ugly I laughed. Hahs.
After Taboo was Jenga - Truth or Dare. After which we headed to school for training.

And these are the bunch of girls who are practically the most noisy ones in the cafe. And since there was a service charge, we made used of this guy to take our photos. Not once but afew times. Haha. But the guy was cute. Opsss! Hehe(:


This is end of Part I.
Till I update for Part II.
sweetLOVES.

Lost & Found.

After solving my blog problems, finally I'm back.
I will update soon...

Lotsa LOVEs.

Today's Business.

Flea Market just now was okayyy. Maybe because it's been such a long time since it was last held so many people are not aware of it. But I'm touched and happy because my regular customers came down to support. They have patronised my small stall for such a looong time.

I'm thankful for their support. Thank you so much. My regular customers have been the best. They would at least buy something from me even though at times things that they bought might not be a neccessity to them. Lol. They said they will buy and give people as a gift. Hehe! And they would always talk to me, we would always update each other about our current life and some even talk about their pet. Some would called up their friends or relative to come down and meet me because today got flea market they said must come down! They are such sweeeeet bunch of people. Thank you again, see you next month (:

I did made a profit today. Yayy! All profits today I will give my Mum. I only keep $10 to top-up my ez-link. Hehe.

I forgot to update about Earth Hour yesterday. So how many of you actually did your part for the Earth for that 1hr??? -.- Well, my house was pitch black. Only the kitchen toilet light and fans was on. I rested in my dark room playing PSP - feeling very tired.

How about the rest of you? Did you do your part for the Earth? (:

drive to JB again tonight..

breadtalk here i come!

Much LOVES.

(:

I have been feeling-feeling-the-very-happy. I don't know why.

Maybe the well quality time spent with friends and such that it has kept my spirits up high.

I should be thankful for that (:

Because when I'm happy, I'm more positive and I tend to be much wiser. lol.

(loikkeeeee reeaaaal, i know)
I just can't wait to place the 2009 target list in my room so that everyday I know what I will be heading for. And everyone in the house will also know what I want.

For now, I just can't wait for a room makeover! So much sadness about needing to leave this BIGGG room of mine, I still have to give-in to my brother no matter what. But it's okayy. A new smaller room, a new space, a better environment to sleep in. (hopefully) I have already slowly bought the accessories needed for the room and Mom have been helping too! How sweeeet. To invest her money on my room. Hehehe. For sure, this small room going to be Pink. Initially wanted to go for Maroon Red but Bro have chose that for his new room. So Hot Pink it shall be. (Too girly for you?) Well, I don't care. I shall make it cool, comfy chic room (:

Current issues I heard among friends nowadays: Marriage.

OhhMy. I feel so old suddenly. Haha. I mean I do want to get married too but not now obviously. I'm never too near about getting ready to marry someone or start a family. Eventhough I love kids like crazy but I can wait for that. Seriously. I'm still young and childish. I admit okayy! And I still have a looooong way to learn alot of things in life. But I am definitely happy for the people and friends out there who are preparing or planning for marriage in years to come. Because I love attending weddings. Seeing these lovely newly-wed couples during wedding ceremony made me happy. I'm sentimental you see. Feeling siaaaaaa.

And Ohh. Today's Drama Meeting - the sharing session with alumni was definitely a THUMBS UP! But the news we got during meeting at Techno was a dissapointing one. I really hoped tomorrow's petition going to run smoothly. I don't want to lose Titisan Temasek. Seriously. And I don't want to be CCA-less at the same time :( Sighs.

Insomnia attack is back.

It's past 3 am in the morning and I'm wide awake.

And I plan to go jog in the wee morning after prayer later.

Wonder if I can even take 10 steps on the jogging track. lol.

Seeee hoooooooowwwwwww ehhhhhhhhhhhh.

I talk too much. I need to stop.

Hahs.

Much LOVES.

Freak.

Stop it ehhh Man-U.
What's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong?
Losing one after another.
Irritating!

liverpool and chealsea don't over-feeling.
you are nowhere better. booo!

Don't Assume.

Don't you Assume that everything is fine with me.
Don't you Assume that I'm rich (eventhough I long knew those inside joke) but I remained in silence.
Don't you Assume that I'm leading a good life.
Don't you Assume that I'm such and such.
Please Stop.
If you want to make assumptions, keep it to yourself. I don't mind.
BUT. Don't try to spread it around and try to make your assumptions sound believable to others.
Ask if you are in doubt or curious.
I will talk and share with you if it's okay to talk about.
But Don't try to Assume everything about my life.
Because only God knows everything.

i'm tired. seriously.
loves.

BOO!

How could you leave turtle behind to look after your computer???!

*yarkkkdushh!

Sis, if only you have msged me earlier then I will not be in Singapore right now!
Ohhh dear, ohh dear.

Hopefully the bonchets people are having a safe journey now (:

I want to travel again, can? -.-

I woked up early in the morning, said goodbye.

Lucky Naruto keeps me alive from boredom.

Got to go work now..

LOVES.

Happy & Away.

I have made up my mind! I am going to forget about NZ and Aust because I know now is not the right time. It is better to use the money for other things for now. To the all my cousins, I hope you guys have fun in June later!

Nevertheless, I won't give up on NZ and Aust just like that(: I will make my way there one day, insyaallah. Heee.

Yesterday night and today's morning made me really happy. Wooosh! And ohh plus the results that are out 2 days ago was a total relieve for me. Hehs. And I love when I saw ITE mails keep coming back at my mailbox, it's always something goood. Haha.

I'm going back to my cousins' village in Melacca tonight. So another weekend getaway again! Goodbye again Singapore.

and people, don't miss out the fabulous IT show & Body Shop Sale @ Suntec City okayy?


Cheers of LOVES.

Adapt to this Life.

It's really a wonder why you have been the same, never change.

Coming 20 years I growed up in this world. And today, I have learnt alot of things. I know how to think maturely and learnt to understand more about life. Even though I know that I am still young and there are lots more for me to learn but at least I have realised my mistakes in life and I am always willing to learn and make improvements.

Hearing what you said today just upsets me. It is as if you have been against the idea or you simply don't care. You know how much sacrifices he have made all on his own. How he growed up and moved on to different stages in life.

You have to understand. This is life and different people have his/her own goals in life. You can't expect him to listen to your say and follow what you want.

It's okay if you have not been supportive in whatever we do all these years. One thing for sure, we are thankful that we grow up independently so we know how hard life is. Of course, seeing others leading an easy life with most of the things being spoon-feed, supported and taken care of..made us feel so envious of them. However, having to grow up independently in a hard way made us be a better thinker and so we tend to make goals so that we could feel the satisfaction when we achieve them.

It's so hard to make this fact absorb into your head because you have always been a narrow-minded person. Nevertheless, I have never hated you. Maybe I did last time. But now I know I still love you.

I have always wanted to see a miracle happen. Maybe one day Allah will make you realised the need for you to truly open your heart and be a better person. I will never stop praying for that so long I am still alive. Insyaallah.

Just bear with this hard life for now, eventhough it has been going on for more than 10years. Be patient okay. And don't you worry. I won't get married not until we have finally settle down and we are happy with a good life. I will make you proud, I will take care of you and I make sure we will lead a good life one day. So long as I'm still standing strong, all healthy and alive. I promise you with my words.

cos this is life, different people have their own stories. learn to open to each different ones you heard of.

LOVES you.

Heart Pour.

So tell me, how much longer I should suffer?
Why things just have to change when it was all perfect in the first place?
I still don't understand despite the reasons you gave me.
I believed everything happens for a reason.
And I wish I could just seek for for an answer now.
It's such a pain living through days filled with many uncertainties and emotionally depressed state.

No matter what I shall stand strong believing in God, constantly praying for the right answer and happiness for myself as well as people around me.


Yours truly, LOVES.

Random.

I almost got into a car accident. Stupid steering wheel!
Or was it my fault? Haha.

And on the way home, this drunk Malay guy puked and his mouth was messily filled with saliva. He was just swaying from side to side; smiling to himself. Sicko. He stinks so badly. And I hate the smell. Blearghh.

Ohh dear I'm happy now yet I miss you.


With LOVES.

P.O.G Alert

To my dearest beloved people of P.O.G, please choose a day and make yourself available on that day tentatively before 2nd week of April. Preeety please can?

From what I heard currently was that to chill somewhere together. Preferably a different place that we have yet to chill together. I heard someone suggested Arab St or something. To eat, sheesha and crap all night long.

Nevertheless. Suggestions for itinerary are open. So feel free to feedback any suggestions for outing okayy? Thanks(:

And I would like us to go for a vacation. We have always intended to do that but the mission was still unaccomplished till today. I understand that the guys are serving NS but I know you guys can take leave also so I plan that maybe we could go vacation either between the period of Tues, 16 Dec 2009 – Sun, 27 Dec 2009 or Tue, 9 Mar 2010 – Sun, 18 Apr 2010.

At most I can think of for now is KL. Because at least we can go Sunway or Genting and shop at KL there. And it is quite affordable also. If all of you are agreeable on this, then start saving. Budget would be around less than $90 dollars for transport to and fro. Hotel about $50-60 dollars. Others about $200? So in total, you need to save an estimation of $300-400. Possible?
This is just a suggestion though. We shall go with the say of majority okayy! (:

For now, I shall pray for all of your safety and good health no matter what you people are doing. Do keep in touch. Miss you all (:


Much LOVES.

Customers Crankiness.

While still remain unemployed with a new and better job, I have been forcing my ass off from the bed every morning to get to work at my current job, Pizza Hut. I have never get sick of customer-based job due to of course, customers. Customers always make my day. Unfortunately, not all of them.

Pizza Hut, as you all know is a restaurant right. Whereby it is not like "grab-and-go" like fast-food restaurants. You will be served right from the start when you enter Pizza Hut, till you get to your seats, even till the last bit of you eating and lastly make payments, there will always be a waiter/waitresses to assist you. So please I beg you customers to at least practice basic manners of eating in restaurants, can?

Yes. It is so unsightly to see customers leaving their table behind which is filled with used serviets, chilli flakes and parmesan cheese all over the table, chicken bones placed on the table, glasses filled with a mixture of so-many-ingredients inside, cutleries all over the place and worst ever: leaving your dirtied baby diapers behind on the table -.-

Just where are your dining manners people????? Were you not being thought of basic dining etiquettes or you all just left your brains at home when dining in a restaurant?????

Just imagine if these customers practice the same culture when dining in hotels. It will defintely affect your reputation somehow. The staffs will surely give you a good stare and make sure you never come back again.

Another issue to handle about customers is to give-in and be patient to them no matter what. (even if they are having their mood swings without us knowing) Let me give you afew scenarios of the current ones I experienced. There was this customer who wanted to have his crisscross fries changed to drumlets. But it was not possible as crisscross fries was part of the set meal already. Being a stubborn customer, he insisted of having his crissfries change. Reason for the change "Ohhh. I am having a bad sore throat today, I don't think my throat is able to take the fries becos it's oily you see..so it's not good for my throat." CRAP can? Like as if the drumlets are boiled or steamed cooked. It's baked and it's oily for goodness sake. Oh dear customer, just said so that you want to eat drumlets but you don't want to fork out extra money for it.

Typical cases are like customers calling you when you are busy. They waved their hands in the air and said "excuse me" out loud. And when you come to attend them, they will say "Can I have the bill?" Irritating to the max. Seriously. You call us as if there was something urgent to attend to, but actually you just want the bill. Can you like just show the physical gesture or sign to us that you want the bill? Tiring you know -.-

Last scenerio that I want to share would be about this auntie. I was doing cashier one day when this auntie came into the restaurant and enquire about takeaway pizza. So I guide her accordingly. She actually wanted to buy a personal hawaiian pizza and so she asked me how much was it. I replied saying "$7.60 maám. After GST it will be $8.13." She suddenly raised her voice at me and said that the pizza was expensive. She said "Waaahhh..why so expensive? You know my son always buy from Bukit Timah Plaza very cheap. After GST, only $6 plus. Waaaa..why here so expensive arrr. You sure or not the pizza $8.13 after GST." Like duhhh of course I'm sure and why would I like to her right? The price before GST are clearly stated in the menu and if she were to do her own calculation with 7% GST, it would be $8.13. She nagged and nagged continously at me and kept saying that the pizza that I'm selling her is expensive. LOL. And afew minutes later, she turned her back against me while still nagging and brought her hand up with a "shooing " gesture like that. Hahaha. Dear Auntie, if you think Bukit Timah Pizza Hut's pizza is cheaper, then go ask your son to continue buying there lahhh! So typical cheapo -.-


C'mon people. Think before you act! Some things might please you but not others.
"Attitude is the little thing that makes a big difference."


Yours truly, LOVES.

The issue of hair once again. It's so typical of me to raise the issue of hair all the time. Yes, I want to cut it short! Or I NEED to? Bahhhs!

It's holiday. And I'm BORED. -.-

SICK.

When...
Sleeping time is my study time.
Breakfast is Lunch. Lunch is Dinner.
Snack when u stress. Stress when u snack.
Less time to study.

I wish study time is sleeping time. Tomorrow is MircoEconomics paper! Can I do the paper now? -__-
Important thing to bring tomorrow: Correction Pen!
Correction Pen (Liquid Paper) = Life & Death during my exams.
I swear I will breakdown if I find out my correction pen missing. Seriously.

And given my sickly condition to take the exams now. I MUST remember to bring a sweater and my handy-dandy hanky. Hehehe.

Okayyy. Better pray hard for me people!! May my paper be a smooth and easy one for me to do. Insyaaallah Amin.
(All Muslims say "Amin" as well ok!)


till then, goodnight LOVES.

Mundane.

Mugging at night.
Driving lessons early mornings.
Going Library almost everyday.
Many plans to make for upcoming weeks.

my brain will explode soon. my brain will explode soon.

And now, I have to travel all the way to school to take measurements for SSM uniform.
CCK to Tampines once again. After 5 days of taking a break from that tiring everyday journey.
I got to drag myself out now...........

After 2months of Year 2009, I start to list down my new year resolutions. Simply said, I finally realised the importance of settling down. I am so proud of myself that I started off by cleaning my room. I am so happy that it is clean now. Okayy, don't ask about how my room is like previously. It's horrible (for a girl's room though).

Right after that, I started doing some d.i.y stuffs for someone(: My brain almost burst from searching for creative ideas. Sheesh!! I hoped I can finish everything by tonight.

I need to start my revision tonight? (I guess) lol. I have been basking about wasting my precious time which can actually be set aside for studies. I need to go invigorate my body to make it much energetic so that I can start the ball rolling. So anyone, jogging tonight? haha.

I am thinking of Nutella, choc chip cookies and choc cake right now.
Maybe it's time for me to do some baking again. Tomorrow morning perhaps (:


Till then, LOVES.

I just wish I could scream my lungs out..

Seriously.

Nevertheless. Having to see many kids around, always make my day everywhere (:
They are simply indescribable cute creatures on earth.

I'll be away................

I don't understand how I can just take a deep breath and act normal.
How much longer do I have to withstand all these.
I wish I could run far away from where I am....

I got my hair trimmed last week (checked!)
Finally, a big goodbye to my split ends.
I was quite unhappy about the haircut initially.
But few days later, I kind of adapt to it already(:

I got all my results and thank God I passed all.
And the results was all unexpected(:
Happy laaa seyyy.

"To leave or not to leave."
Just as I was making plans to hopped to a new PT job..
My mgr told me that she wants to get me promoted to Star this year.
Sighss.
Pay is an issue in Pizza Hut but working days are very flexible.
At least I can juggle between school and work.
I was told to do cashier alone for the first time yesterday.
It was a bit stressful but fun I must say.hahas.
Maybe I should just stick to PH.
I don't know but I make sure this coming holidays I work with my Uncle.
At his media company.wooots(:

I went to cousin's engagement today.
And as usual, whenever I go such events..
Many will asked my mum when will mine going to be.
Lol. Me?
I'm still young okay!
I'm not prepared for all these yet.
I do envy all these people though, seeing them happy during such events.
But I always tell myself, my day will surely come too..one day (insyallah).
Just can't wait for my brother's wedding this year.
As happy I will be for him, I will be sad too.
Having to leave one brother that I'm left with, is not easy. Sighs.
Just hope he will plan to get a child soon after he married.
Cos I want a kid in the house! Hehe.

Anyway, yesterday was my 18th Monthsary with Mr Muhammad Azmi Baby.
Say Cheese & Smile Baby! (:


Lotsa LOVE.

Oh Yes Boy; You Better Look Out.

Cos I'm not the kind of girl whom you can mess with.

***************************************************************

Yayy. Just had a 1.2km night jog & I'm loving it(:

I also had a hair cut today.

Sad to leave that long hair which already touches below the bra line.

But I have to get that split ends chopped!

And I finally did it.

Well, hair will grow.

I promise I will be more patient this time.

To let it grow naturally.

Pamper it with treatment.

And trim it regularly.

Once it grow into a love beautiful hair again, I will perm it! *evil laughs*

Life has been like "taking a slow walk over the moon."

I tried to take things one at a time.

And hey, all I have to do this year is to be more confident & happy!

I am thankful to have such wonderful bunch of guys.

None other than the P.O.G guys.

Spending time with you guys that night was truly awesome.

Thank you for ALL your listening ears.

Fun & Laughter also of course.

I wish Ameer, Yazid & Effy all the best.

Do takecare of yourself & have fun serving NS (:

To Hafiz, thanks for lifting up my spirits again bro.

I know you and the rest will always be there for me.

We will meet again SOON okay!

loveee yaaa 'alllll.

***************************************************************

For now, Time will tell it all I guess...

iloveyoubaby.

LOVES.